Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter

This is What Happens When You Cancel Glamour Magazine

You want to know what happens when you cancel your Glamour Magazine subscription after nine years? You get this in the mail:   Marketers assume you are now 56 years old and only shop at Chico’s. They even sent me sample articles: Listen people, I know I’m (well, I hope I’m) going to be old one day and prefer wearing pants with elastic waistbands (okay, I prefer those now) and sipping […]

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The Caroler

I have a Filipino brother-in-law, Robert. He’s short and funny and bald and on my first Christmas with Benson’s family I mistook the Filipino brother-in-law for my fiancé and wrapped my arms passionately around his shoulders from behind. After what happened this year though, I think we’re even… It started on December 24th. I awoke with a pesky wheeze in my lung. “My chest! My chest hurts!” I huffed to Benson. […]

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Christmas Feuds

My brother just called me from Atlanta. Brother: Hey, what do you and Benson want for Christmas? Me: What! We haven’t exchanged gifts in like five years! Don’t get us anything. What are you even talking about? Brother: Yeah huh! I bought Benson that camping stove that one time! Me: That was over five years ago! You can’t just throw this on me now! We said five years ago that […]

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Art

The girl who takes my credit card at my hair place has a hamburger tattoo. I noticed it last month as she reached for my card and I was like, “Is that a hamburger tattoo!?” “Yeah,” she answered. “It’s for my dog.” “It’s for your dog?” “Yeah, his name’s Cheeseburger.” Correction: The girl who takes my credit card at my hair place has a cheeseburger tattoo: Maybe I should get […]

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Feeling the Love

On Saturday I opened my home to thirty precious ladies who all had a common purpose: to mingle, eat cake, rub our pregnant friend’s belly, and then watch her unwrap diapers and onesies. After we’d done all that, we paused to lift up this baby and mother to the Lord. Girl’s gonna need some patience over the next eighteen years and there’s only one place to get it. Before we […]

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Why I Won’t Go to Ugly Sweater Parties

A couple of years ago, Benson and I were getting ready to go to a party when he asked me if I liked his outfit. I looked him up and down. “Your t-shirt has a donut stabbing another donut on the front,” I said, concerned over his fashion choice. “Yeah! I think it’s funny!” he replied, smoothing it down as he looked in the mirror. I continued blow drying my […]

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Victory!

I came in second to last yesterday in CrossFit. The big win was a result of this guy with an injured knee. Do I care? Nope! Ran right past that sucka! After the workout, the loser grabbed his knee in agony and some people crowded around him while I pumped my fist into the air, basking in my victory. Now, off to sign up for whatever class that guy with […]

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