I have this thing I do. It’s totally creepy… Since I was, I don’t know, three, it’s taken me about an hour and a half to fall asleep at night. Once when I was five I actually counted to two hundred my head, then slipped out of bed to my parents’ room and woke them up to share the good news. “I just counted to two hundred!” I whispered. But two years ago, this […]
And the sad part is…I paid twenty bucks to enter this thing, y’all… Day 1: Self-Righteousness I put a sappy post on Facebook about how the children in Rwanda would LOVE to eat a banana and raw almonds for breakfast, so you all better stop complaining, you hear!? Seventy-three likes on my post. Self-righteous feelings swell. I will cut out sugar and gluten and corn and alcohol and red dye […]
My doctor is converting his practice from paper to computer. I had an appointment on Wednesday just to get some prescriptions updated, and once Dr. J called me back to the examination room, he showed me the new contraptions and told me what he liked and what he despised about the whole thing. “Look,” he said. “In order to open this screen, I have to close out every other screen! I can’t even […]
Stuff I Talk About 