I’ve a tidbit for you. Having just returned from a hike with neighbors, I learned something about the ribs. See, on said hike we discussed various ailments, and it turns out, my pal Jonathan pulled or tweaked–somethinged his rib. Elevated it. That’s what he called it. Anyway, he started describing where it hurt, and I am here to tell you people that I obviously had no idea where ribs begin. […]
The original plan was to pack up and head to Mexico for a week. We opened the calendar, searched plane tickets and got excited. Next we checked with the budget. And I don’t know who that budget thinks it is, but it got sassy with us, claiming this was simply not the time to skip the country and enjoy private poolside cocktails and fresh guacamole. The nerve. Benson suggested an […]
I have a neighbor down the road named Patrick. We often pass each other on walks, he with his hundred-plus pound shaggy dogs, me with my skittish Chief. The thing I like about Patrick is that whenever I ask “How have y’all been?” he gives honest answers. His kind-hearted wife does the same. I get textured glimpses into their life, and though we’ve never shared a meal (my primary means […]
Nothing makes me feel more grown up than talking about how much we need rain. Not even calling my insurance company comes close. Yesterday in a conversation with a contractor I took it to a whole other level and stated how many inches we’re down year to date. This must be how 90-year-olds feel, I thought, shaking my head at the water level of our creek. I don’t know how […]
An AC repair guy A man who claimed he was going to repair our air conditioner came to our house a few months ago. He had only one ear. “Been battlin’ skin cancer for ten years!” he yelled, motioning to the missing appendage. I was really hoping he’d lost it in a war or something because then I wouldn’t feel so concerned about losing my own ear. Don’t wanna lose […]
My neighbors are in the process of procuring five chickens. I’m so nervous my beloved red tabby, Queso, is going to venture over and “befriend” said hens. I’ve good reason to worry. The last time this family had a bird in their care, the thing followed me home from a neighborly visit and attacked me on my own property. Now, it wasn’t a chicken, rather a sorta cross-eyed, mostly featherless […]
This weekend I watched a YouTube video starring this couple who travels the globe and laughs while they eat curry, and then they swim with sharks and talk about how it changed their life. I stared at the screen from my yellow chair in my tiny cottage, and people, I got inspired. But not in the way you might be thinking. See, fans wrote in and asked the adventurous couple […]
One of depression’s lies goes like this: The way you feel now? That’s forever. Which is why, two years ago, amongst other things (formal dresses, lingerie, nail polish, a stripy beach tote) I got rid of my lasagna pan. Lasagna? Not for me. Not anymore, I decided, casting it into the donation pile with all the other items I deemed no longer necessary for my future of gloom. […]
Two weeks ago I watch a movie on Netflix and one of the ladies has curly-ish hair with bangs. I think of little other than this lady and her bangs for 24 hours. The next day I open the movie on my phone, pause it over her image and pull my scissors out of the bathroom drawer. Ta-da! I feel just like the lady in the movie now, except I […]
Bumpy few days for no single reason I can put my finger on. Right out of the blue yesterday a span of four hours in which the sole purpose was to avoid a panic attack. Strategy numero uno: Physcially shoo it away. Away with you! I metaphorically shout, reaching for a dumbbell. I am just like the motivational posters. I stop for nothing. ‘Til I do. As soon as I lift the […]
Stuff I Talk About 