Sometimes while Benson and I are galloping through fields of peonies and breaking only to French kiss, people have commented that we have a good marriage. It’s true. And it’s not by chance. For one, Benson is extremely kind and doesn’t get upset near as often as I do (which cuts down fights by a solid 50%). Also, a lot of marriage books, secular or not, will tell you that […]
The Stages of Cutting Out Sugar and Gluten and Happiness and Corn and Alcohol From My Diet for 45 Days
And the sad part is…I paid twenty bucks to enter this thing, y’all… Day 1: Self-Righteousness I put a sappy post on Facebook about how the children in Rwanda would LOVE to eat a banana and raw almonds for breakfast, so you all better stop complaining, you hear!? Seventy-three likes on my post. Self-righteous feelings swell. I will cut out sugar and gluten and corn and alcohol and red dye […]
I elbowed my husband in the mouth yesterday morning. It all started because I was dreaming that I was in the midst of the Rwandan genocide of ’94 and about to be killed by a large man in army fatigues. Oh, and I was sitting on a pizza. No clue, people. As the army man walked toward me, I braced myself for the kill, but knew that I would at least die on […]
For the past week, I have spoken to my husband about very little other than the pros and cons of a blue duvet vs. a cream comforter and whether or not we should buy a new dresser. Finally, a few nights ago, he asked… And so, for twelve hours, I kept thinking of amazing decorating ideas to talk to him about, but instead of speaking them aloud, I had to […]
Benson and I led a marriage retreat this weekend… And though there were times where we got mixed up with our notes, and our words got all jumbled when trying to explain some topics that were still a bit hazy in our minds, and one guy actually fell asleep in the middle of a lesson, we trust everyone enjoyed themselves from 9:30 to 10:00 PM.
On Wednesday evenings Benson and I sit in our living room across from engaged couples and try to convince them that they will one day have the urge to cuss out their spouse and throw their everyday ware across the dining room, and that on that day, they will need to refrain from cussing out their spouse and throwing the everyday ware across the dining room, and instead, calmly talk […]
For the first thirty-two years of my life, I thought I was a quarter Native American. Actually, for the first fifteen years I thought I was a quarter Indian, but sometime in the nineties it became racist to call it that, so I to switched to Native American. I remember my paternal grandmother wearing her hair in long black braids. She was tall and had high cheekbones and a long nose. […]