I used coconut oil instead of hair gel yesterday because some stupid beauty blog told me that the coconut would make my hair beautiful. It didn’t. It looks like I’m wearing Soul Glo. And while right now I really want to sit down and write a blog about my mounting depression concerning the oil in my hair and my worry that I may have permanently stained my pillow… I have to do […]
For the past week, I have spoken to my husband about very little other than the pros and cons of a blue duvet vs. a cream comforter and whether or not we should buy a new dresser. Finally, a few nights ago, he asked… And so, for twelve hours, I kept thinking of amazing decorating ideas to talk to him about, but instead of speaking them aloud, I had to […]
Benson and I led a marriage retreat this weekend… And though there were times where we got mixed up with our notes, and our words got all jumbled when trying to explain some topics that were still a bit hazy in our minds, and one guy actually fell asleep in the middle of a lesson, we trust everyone enjoyed themselves from 9:30 to 10:00 PM.
Benson bought a twenty-dollar coffee table off Amazon and sawed the legs down to about a foot each. Last Friday, I hauled the table to his office (he drives a scooter and we decided strapping a coffee table onto the back would prove unwise), and helped him clear off his desk, position the table on top, and then put everything back onto the table. He says sitting is killing America, so now […]
Last night in CrossFit, this happened: We were doing this weightlifting move the coaches call “snatch” and I call “Am I in a Prison Camp?” During the warm-up, the coach told us to pop the weight over our heads to practice. So everyone popped their weight-clad barbells above their heads… Except me. My barbell was like, “No, I’m actually cool here at your sternum. Not going any higher, thank you,” and I […]
I hoisted Cowboy into my car last Friday for a trip to the vet. Poor guy was too weak to jump into the backseat by himself due to 24 hours of explosive poo coming out of his butt. Once there, the vet asked me what I feed him. “Iams,” I answered. “Which one?” she probed. “The one that’s right before the one where you’re about to die. Like the retirement age […]
When I was fifteen, I was almost killed by a monster truck named Reptoid at a monster truck rally. I was there with a high school boyfriend we’ll call Hank who had a deep love for large trucks. And since I had a deep love for belonging to cliques, I feigned awe of anything my boyfriends liked back then so that I could sit with their friends at lunch. Therefore, […]