I’m in an odd place. It’s not a necessarily bad place (though if I were the gloomy type I could see it leading to a depression), and describing it as good seems a bit premature. It’s simply odd. Here’s how it happened: For the past two years I’ve been writing a book. In order to write said book, I gave up much of my freelance writing jobs. Now, after several […]
The CultFit gym I go to held an essay competition. The prompt: 1. Why do you attend CrossFit? 2. Why you would like to attend the CrossFit Level 1 Certificate Course? I actually wanted to attend the course, so not only did I write an essay, I included illustrations for good measure. It’s hosted by the fancy CrossFit corporate people who look like gladiators, and if you pass the test […]
I passed out yesterday. It was right after Benson noticed me standing very still at the kitchen counter staring at a wad of kale on the cutting board, butcher knife in hand. He said, “I don’t think you should be operating a knife right now,” and then – ploop! Down I went. And get this – he caught me! My hero! He propped me up and wrapped my noodly arms […]
I shouldn’t be operating the Internet under these conditions. It started Saturday when I noticed it hurt to turn my head to the far right. Huh, that’s funny, I thought. Musta tweaked something. The pain was actually in the back of my head, right where you’d aim to hit someone with a frying pan should they be up to no good. I showed Benson. “See, this hurts,” I said, turning […]
I’m teaching a women’s retreat. It’s my first time venturing out of my own church for a speaking gig (“gig” makes it sound like I’ll be playing the bass at a nightclub but I couldn’t think of another word). I asked the gal organizing the retreat to email me a list of those attending so that I could pray over each lady by name. Then I took my idea a […]
The Cat Harold has AIDS. That means he might live for another couple of years or he might die next Thursday. I thought it was going to happen last week. He was acting super cuddly. This is it, I thought. He’s saying goodbye. I scooped him into my lap and he pushed his face against my palm. I whispered to him that it was okay, he could go, like I’ve […]
Most days: Oatmeal. Pick up dog poop. Pray. Write. Not write. Curse writing. Pray. Write. Snack. Walk neighborhood dogs and pick up their poop. Salad. Write. Not write. Cook. Talk. Gym. Yesterday: HUGGED A HORSE. Almost cried because I’ve never hugged a horse before. Asked Benson to take pictures of me with the horse. Swam in a swimming hole with my husband and my dogs. Saw three deer. Got bit […]
Sometimes my life flashy and clever and a hoot. Sometimes, it’s not… I have my groceries delivered because I rather enjoy the life of a hermit. When I think about which animal I’d like to be, I think of a fat, hibernating bear in a dark cave. Just sleepin’ his way through the winter, unbothered by any pesky life affairs. Yesterday I didn’t need much, but what I did need managed to […]
The Vet I took all three of my pets to the vet yesterday for checkups (and yes, I need to borrow some cash now because have you ever had three animals vaccinated in one day? Well, don’t.) and my street dog Chief freaked out so much that he BROKE LOOSE FROM HIS COLLAR IN THE PARKING LOT AND RAN AWAY. I got him back by opening the car door, insinuating […]
Fear I’m always afraid of liking stuff on Facebook, because as soon as someone likes something on Facebook, it’s there forever, even if the original thing you liked starts acting crazy. Like, what if I like some news organization and then they post some article like, “Black Lives DON’T Matter.” Then Facebook posts the article and throws in “Christina Edwards Ledbetter Likes This.” And I’ll be all, “NO! They DO […]
