Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter

Recognition

My doctor is converting his practice from paper to computer. I had an appointment on Wednesday just to get some prescriptions updated, and once Dr. J called me back to the examination room, he showed me the new contraptions and told me what he liked and what he despised about the whole thing. “Look,” he said. “In order to open this screen, I have to close out every other screen! I can’t even […]

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Hundred Bucks, or Else…

There are missionaries asleep on the first floor of my house. They aren’t the kind with bikes though. (Got a rental car.) Come to think of it, I did let them borrow our bikes to ride to a coffee shop yesterday, so I guess they sort of are the kind on bikes. But definitely not wearing white button ups. Last night as they were getting ready to head to a friend’s house, […]

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Hotel Ledbetter

My fancy lady interior designer finished my bedroom. It now resembles a swanky hotel room that someone decorated just for me. Before we view the finished product, let’s take a gander at my decorating skills prior to hiring a professional. Here, we have a nice beige/brown/pale yellow/more brown/more beige motif. Oh, and then I threw in a hot pink pillow. “We need something that ‘pops’, right?” I said to Benson. “I think […]

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Chase

I got chased by a pit-bull this morning on my walk. And before you all go writing me and telling me how pit-bulls are just as nice as collies but simply misunderstood, please note that when you’re being chased by one in an alley, you don’t much think about the society’s misgivings on this harmless breed. See, there’s this route I take on my walks sometimes when I don’t want to […]

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Brawls

I elbowed my husband in the mouth yesterday morning. It all started because I was dreaming that I was in the midst of the Rwandan genocide of ’94 and about to be killed by a large man in army fatigues. Oh, and I was sitting on a pizza. No clue, people. As the army man walked toward me, I braced myself for the kill, but knew that I would at least die on […]

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Breakfast Concerns

Every morning when, or before, my alarm goes off, my fine cat Harold marches up the stairs to my bedroom to remind me that he will be requiring a tablespoon of Friskies to start his morning off right, just as he has every single other day of his life for his entire life. He does this by simultaneously circling the bed and making a sound like he is experiencing electric shock […]

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