I’m reading this book with a lady on the cover all free-looking and holy and lifting up her hands to the heavens. She’s like, “Only You, Lord. Only You,” (in her head probably). The book is supposed to help me stop being so greedy for attention and praise. It’s called Freedom from Performing and I started reading it Monday, the same day I gave life to this blog. There I was, sitting on my couch, reading the first few pages of my book that will teach me to stop being such an applause-hog, with my phone right beside me, screen up, so that I’d know if anyone on Facebook liked my blog.
The book referenced those nutso Pharisees: “Everything they do is done for men to see:…They love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues…” (Matthew 23:5-6) and I was like, “Those guys were so stupid, I swear.” Then my phone chirped that someone commented on my blog and I was all, “YES!” and texted my husband:
I blacked out the bottom because we started sexting. Kidding! (Side note: I’m never going to do that EVER, because you know why? Who’s to say you don’t send a sext and then BAM, you die? (Not even to mention what if you died after taking some blooper shots that you didn’t intend for ANYBODY to see.) Then the cops are going to go through your phone to see if they can piece together the clues of your death and they’ll find the sexts and pass your phone around. They might even end up on the news. Like, “Her final moments.” No, thank you.)
So anyway, I’m trying to work on only finding my worth in God alone. Do you know how difficult this is for me? At this point I’m kind of like, “I’m SO complete in Christ – but hey look at this cute hair trick I learned! Don’t you LOVE IT!? Don’t you love ME, like SO MUCH?!”
Work in progress, people. Work in progress. I’m headed to a women’s retreat this weekend so I can get me some JAY-sus on. (That’s wrong, right?) Hopefully I’ll come back a bit more inclined to find my value in Christ’s finished work and not Facebook likes. Speaking of – Like me HERE!! (Kidding!) And let me know if you can relate.