My fancy lady interior designer finished my bedroom. It now resembles a swanky hotel room that someone decorated just for me. Before we view the finished product, let’s take a gander at my decorating skills prior to hiring a professional. Here, we have a nice beige/brown/pale yellow/more brown/more beige motif. Oh, and then I threw in a hot pink pillow. “We need something that ‘pops’, right?” I said to Benson. “I think […]
I got chased by a pit-bull this morning on my walk. And before you all go writing me and telling me how pit-bulls are just as nice as collies but simply misunderstood, please note that when you’re being chased by one in an alley, you don’t much think about the society’s misgivings on this harmless breed. See, there’s this route I take on my walks sometimes when I don’t want to […]
I elbowed my husband in the mouth yesterday morning. It all started because I was dreaming that I was in the midst of the Rwandan genocide of ’94 and about to be killed by a large man in army fatigues. Oh, and I was sitting on a pizza. No clue, people. As the army man walked toward me, I braced myself for the kill, but knew that I would at least die on […]
Every morning when, or before, my alarm goes off, my fine cat Harold marches up the stairs to my bedroom to remind me that he will be requiring a tablespoon of Friskies to start his morning off right, just as he has every single other day of his life for his entire life. He does this by simultaneously circling the bed and making a sound like he is experiencing electric shock […]
I finally finished my taxes (and by “finished my taxes” I mean I finally finished scanning all of my documents and adding up all my expenses to send to a CPA who is actually going to finish my taxes) and I feel like a new woman. Or like, a lioness. In order for me to continue on with any acts of usefulness on this earth, I had to drum up […]
I used coconut oil instead of hair gel yesterday because some stupid beauty blog told me that the coconut would make my hair beautiful. It didn’t. It looks like I’m wearing Soul Glo. And while right now I really want to sit down and write a blog about my mounting depression concerning the oil in my hair and my worry that I may have permanently stained my pillow… I have to do […]
For the past week, I have spoken to my husband about very little other than the pros and cons of a blue duvet vs. a cream comforter and whether or not we should buy a new dresser. Finally, a few nights ago, he asked… And so, for twelve hours, I kept thinking of amazing decorating ideas to talk to him about, but instead of speaking them aloud, I had to […]
