Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter


The Park

On Saturday morning Benson and I went to Memorial Park. After I finished my “run” (imagine a drunk woman quickly staggering from her seat at the bar to the bathroom), I fumbled around on the pull-up bars while I waited on Benson to finish his “run” (imagine the Olympics). “You have a strong upper body,” said a voice. The voice belonged to this dude who’d been doing headstands on park […]

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Bachelorette Party Guy

As I was headed out to a bachelorette party last week, Benson jokingly told me to enjoy the stripper. We laughed and I told him how I so don’t understand the idea of male strippers. And that’s when Benson and I came up with an idea that’s going to make us millions. The Bachelorette Party Guy! (Because he knows what women want, and it’s not to have penises flung in […]

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The Revolt

WARNING: Some of you read my posts at work. This post contains drawings of boobs. Now then… I’m fascinated with boobs. Not in a sexual way, but in a “If I had the chance to see everybody’s boobs, I’d want to” way. But only if it was anonymous; if a girl actually offered to show me her boobs, which has happened before after said girl had a boob job, I’d […]

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Anxiety Part II

So like I said, I’ve got the bad nerves. And because the thought of seeking out a black market doctor who will prescribe Quaaludes willy-nilly from his duplex frightens me (parking is always a nightmare at duplexes), I have some other handy tricks at my disposal. First of all, here are some things I do to keep my anxiety at bay in the first place, which apparently don’t work very […]

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I’ve got the bad nerves. It started when I no joke went up to my mom and, in distress, asked her, “When I graduate high school and have to give a speech, what am I suppose to say?” My mom sighed and said, “I don’t know, but you might as well start worrying about it now.” I was five. (Turns out, the person who gives the speech is the valedictorian, […]

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Benson got an email from work saying they were going to bring in a professional photographer to take everybody’s headshots. “Benson’s a model?” you ask. Nope. He’s an engineer. The night before the pictures, Benson began to prepare. Benson (calling from the bathroom): Time to trim the ol’ eyebrows! (Sound of electric razor heard from bathroom) (Sound of electric razor abruptly stops) Benson (crestfallen): Oh no. Christina (calling from bedroom): What did […]

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