Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter

Pears and Cats and First Place

First off, here’s a handy appetizer dish you can bring to a party to ensure everyone will dote on you and claim that you’re clever, and you can be all, “This ole thing? Oh, just an easy recipe! Ha la la!”

1. Chop a pear into thin slices.

2. Smear a glob of spreadable goat cheese or boursin cheese on the pear.

3. Stick an arugula leaf on top of that.

4. Wrap it in a strip of prosciutto.

And this, my friends, is how you make people love you.

And this, my friends, is how you make people love you.

(This recipe was adapted from my friend Rachelle, who doesn’t have time to blog on her own due to the copious amounts of cats she feeds on her back porch. Keep up the good work, Rachelle!)

Speaking of cats, Benson still doesn’t love ours:

Benson and Harold

In other news, last night at the gym our coach sent us outside to run a quarter-mile warm-up. I was closest to the door as I was still considering whether I wanted to be there or not, and therefore first out of the gym. I took off, dodging tractor trailers (our gym is next door to some large warehouses which have giant trucks coming in and out all the time) and wheezing along the broken sidewalk. And that’s when it occurred to me: I was in first place.

(They don’t rank us in the warm ups.)

I approached the sign where we turn around, and began running back toward the gym. “This has never happened,” I heard coming from a voice behind me. It was my friend Micah, who also comes in last place with me on all the workouts. It’s a close connection we share, especially because we are both married to gladiators. His wife spends her weekends winning weight-lifting and box jump competitions. And when we do pull-ups in class, Benson chains a giant kettlebell around his waist because regular pull-ups are just too easy.

“We’re coming in first place!” I screamed to Micah.

“I know! The sad thing is I’m really pushing it right now,” he panted.

“Me” – pause for sucking air – “too!”

(We’re not suppose to push it in warm-ups. Warm-ups are basically for, well, warming up.)

I saw the gym come into my view and began leaping/running towards it, hearing the steps of my classmates behind me, all tra la la running and not even breathing hard. I heard Benson cheering for me from a few yards back. I flung my arms out to my sides so that nobody could pass me unless they wanted to get run over by a semi.

I WAS GOING TO WIN.

Christna First Place

And I came in first place.

And Micah came in second.

And then we came in last in the workout.

(But we OWNED that warm-up.)

Categories: Lifestyle, Pets, This and That

5 replies

  1. LOL HOLY CRAP UR HILARIOUS!!!!!….i love ur post about u & Micah winning warm-up…LOVE the shirtless stick figures 😉…i laughed so hard…just to b clear i’ve never won a weight lifting or crossfit competition but u made me feel like super woman💪!!…thank u!!

  2. You are so entertaining! YOU WIN!!!!! And…you won this mornings warm up run too!!! GO YOU!

  3. As always, very funny.

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