Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter

Pets

Cats, Dogs, Plants

Cats I got a job writing book reviews, which basically means Harold gets a new bed delivered to the front door every other week. Harold and I both now have our dream jobs. Dogs Have you ever seen on Oprah or something where some lady saw a 20/20 documentary on orphans in Russia and was like, “I saw this boy on the TV and knew he was my son”? And […]

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Washing Dishes

The other night while I washed dishes, Harold the cat was busy sleeping on the couch, and Benson was busy cuddling him. “Harold, what do you smell like?” Benson asked, rubbing Harold’s armpits. I called from the kitchen, “He smells good! I smell him all the time – he’s like…like, warm and soft smelling.” “You’re right! He smells nice,” he said, burrowing his nose into Harold’s belly. “Do you want to […]

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Messes

Got ourselves a three-parter, folks! Part 1: The Mess on the Streets A few weeks ago, as my pal Annie and my dog Cowboy and I were out on a walk on the Nicholson Hike and Bike Trail, this lady stops us and starts gushing over Cowboy. And I’m all beaming. And she’s all, “Oh, youah dog looks just like Wot-ah-mess!” Huh? Neither Annie or I could understand her thick […]

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Pears and Cats and First Place

First off, here’s a handy appetizer dish you can bring to a party to ensure everyone will dote on you and claim that you’re clever, and you can be all, “This ole thing? Oh, just an easy recipe! Ha la la!” 1. Chop a pear into thin slices. 2. Smear a glob of spreadable goat cheese or boursin cheese on the pear. 3. Stick an arugula leaf on top of […]

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Goats

Benson got tagged in the ice bucket challenge. We didn’t realize it was for ALS. (He was tagged early on, before it became like the biggest news story since Jesus, and the dude who tagged him wasn’t clear, so there you go.) So instead of donating to an ALS charity, Benson bought two goats and a mosquito net for some children in Rwanda. Today, we received a thank-you letter from […]

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Exhibit B

Cowboy almost died. It started when he sneezed and blood shot out of his nose all over my friend Ann’s living room. I was there alone, as I was dropping Cowboy off for Ann to babysit while I went out of town. I grabbed my phone and called Ann, frantically explaining the situation. Unfortunately, Ann’s biggest fear in life is being wrongly accused of a murder and going to prison, […]

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Hundred Bucks, or Else…

There are missionaries asleep on the first floor of my house. They aren’t the kind with bikes though. (Got a rental car.) Come to think of it, I did let them borrow our bikes to ride to a coffee shop yesterday, so I guess they sort of are the kind on bikes. But definitely not wearing white button ups. Last night as they were getting ready to head to a friend’s house, […]

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