Makeup
Here’s how I do my eye makeup… and offend people. I’m a YouTube star, y’all! http://youtu.be/QLr2RQ1hmG8
Pears and Cats and First Place
First off, here’s a handy appetizer dish you can bring to a party to ensure everyone will dote on you and claim that you’re clever, and you can be all, “This ole thing? Oh, just an easy recipe! Ha la la!” 1. Chop a pear into thin slices. 2. Smear a glob of spreadable goat cheese or boursin cheese on the pear. 3. Stick an arugula leaf on top of […]
Four Things
1. We had some landscaping done on the back forty. Before, our property consisted of a nice doo doo pit. Even Cowboy refused to walk on because he was too grossed out by it and would make us walk him down to our neighbors’ grass to poop each night. (Thanks Matt and Sarah! Owe ya one!) Now we have a lovely rock pit that Cowboy is still hesitant about, hence […]
Goats
Benson got tagged in the ice bucket challenge. We didn’t realize it was for ALS. (He was tagged early on, before it became like the biggest news story since Jesus, and the dude who tagged him wasn’t clear, so there you go.) So instead of donating to an ALS charity, Benson bought two goats and a mosquito net for some children in Rwanda. Today, we received a thank-you letter from […]
Plots
The coaches at my CultFit gym wanted us to submit ideas for new t-shirts. Here’s what I came up with: Speaking of my gym, I won a medal! One of the coaches basically said I was his favorite athlete (I think it’s hilarious when they call us athletes) in the whole gym. So now I make sure to sign up for his classes so that I can lord it over […]
Other Marriage Stuff
Round two, folks! Since my last post, Benson and I have acquired a roommate. Our roommate is a man. So, while I won’t Facebook message or drink a shot of tequila with another man, apparently I’m totally cool with living with one. (But if that dude walks in the kitchen while I’m eating my oatmeal you better believe I’ll let him HAVE IT.) (Just kidding, Paul! Hope you enjoy your […]
Keeping Pesky Affairs at Bay
Sometimes while Benson and I are galloping through fields of peonies and breaking only to French kiss, people have commented that we have a good marriage. It’s true. And it’s not by chance. For one, Benson is extremely kind and doesn’t get upset near as often as I do (which cuts down fights by a solid 50%). Also, a lot of marriage books, secular or not, will tell you that […]
Stuff That Isn’t What You Think
On Friday I received a voicemail. It was a man named Mark who identified himself as a social worker calling from the Memorial City Hospital emergency room. When I called the number back the receptionist asked, “Do you know the patient’s name?” to which I answered in a quivery voice, “No, I don’t know anything.” She put me on hold. While on hold I had the following thoughts: Benson wrecked […]
That Time I Got Fired by a Homeless Woman
I was fired by a homeless woman. Here’s the thing… Every month a group of ladies from my church goes to a homeless shelter to give manicures and pedicures to Houston’s homeless women. The shelter is a large concrete building, hot and sticky with women and children filling the waiting area to find out if there’s an open bed. They bring the heat in with them. It radiates off of […]
What Happened When We Bought a Scooter
So we passed our motorcycle test. (Well, Benson passed.) Time to buy a scooter, baby! After an unfortunate trip to a scooter shop in Houston in which Benson test drove one while I buried my face into his back, pleading him to be careful, that I didn’t want to die on the streets and who would feed the dog?, we decided that Benson should be in charge of searching for […]
Stuff I Talk About 