Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter

Goats

Benson got tagged in the ice bucket challenge. We didn’t realize it was for ALS. (He was tagged early on, before it became like the biggest news story since Jesus, and the dude who tagged him wasn’t clear, so there you go.) So instead of donating to an ALS charity, Benson bought two goats and a mosquito net for some children in Rwanda. Today, we received a thank-you letter from […]

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Plots

The coaches at my CultFit gym wanted us to submit ideas for new t-shirts. Here’s what I came up with: Speaking of my gym, I won a medal! One of the coaches basically said I was his favorite athlete (I think it’s hilarious when they call us athletes) in the whole gym. So now I make sure to sign up for his classes so that I can lord it over […]

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Other Marriage Stuff

Round two, folks! Since my last post, Benson and I have acquired a roommate. Our roommate is a man. So, while I won’t Facebook message or drink a shot of tequila with another man, apparently I’m totally cool with living with one. (But if that dude walks in the kitchen while I’m eating my oatmeal you better believe I’ll let him HAVE IT.) (Just kidding, Paul! Hope you enjoy your […]

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Keeping Pesky Affairs at Bay

Sometimes while Benson and I are galloping through fields of peonies and breaking only to French kiss, people have commented that we have a good marriage. It’s true. And it’s not by chance. For one, Benson is extremely kind and doesn’t get upset near as often as I do (which cuts down fights by a solid 50%). Also, a lot of marriage books, secular or not, will tell you that […]

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Stuff That Isn’t What You Think

On Friday I received a voicemail. It was a man named Mark who identified himself as a social worker calling from the Memorial City Hospital emergency room. When I called the number back the receptionist asked, “Do you know the patient’s name?” to which I answered in a quivery voice, “No, I don’t know anything.” She put me on hold. While on hold I had the following thoughts: Benson wrecked […]

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That Time I Got Fired by a Homeless Woman

I was fired by a homeless woman. Here’s the thing… Every month a group of ladies from my church goes to a homeless shelter to give manicures and pedicures to Houston’s homeless women. The shelter is a large concrete building, hot and sticky with women and children filling the waiting area to find out if there’s an open bed. They bring the heat in with them. It radiates off of […]

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What Happened When We Bought a Scooter

So we passed our motorcycle test. (Well, Benson passed.) Time to buy a scooter, baby! After an unfortunate trip to a scooter shop in Houston in which Benson test drove one while I buried my face into his back, pleading him to be careful, that I didn’t want to die on the streets and who would feed the dog?, we decided that Benson should be in charge of searching for […]

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Born to be (Fraudulently) Wild

A few years ago Benson and I had an idea. What if we got rid of one of our vehicles and bought a scooter? We’d be a one car family in the city. The only thing hipper would be moving to Harlem and beatboxing in the streets on weekends, I swear. (I cannot tell you the amount of things I’ve/we’ve decided to do solely because they seemed hip: joining a produce […]

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Exhibit B

Cowboy almost died. It started when he sneezed and blood shot out of his nose all over my friend Ann’s living room. I was there alone, as I was dropping Cowboy off for Ann to babysit while I went out of town. I grabbed my phone and called Ann, frantically explaining the situation. Unfortunately, Ann’s biggest fear in life is being wrongly accused of a murder and going to prison, […]

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Stuff My Cousin Did

My cousin Robin was born on the 4th of July. When I was four and she was six, we celebrated her birthday by inviting a bunch of her friends over for a sleepover. That night as everyone was just getting warmed up in her playroom and pulling out Barbies and changing Cabbage Patch Kids’ diapers, Robin announced that it was time for me to go to sleep. I reluctantly climbed […]

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