My brother just called me from Atlanta.
Brother: Hey, what do you and Benson want for Christmas?
Me: What! We haven’t exchanged gifts in like five years! Don’t get us anything. What are you even talking about?
Brother: Yeah huh! I bought Benson that camping stove that one time!
Me: That was over five years ago! You can’t just throw this on me now! We said five years ago that we weren’t gong to exchange gifts anymore.
Brother: Well I kept buying y’all gifts.
Me: Okay, what’d you get me last year?
Brother (silent for a long time): Well, I might not have time to get you anything anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
Glad we settled that, huh?
Speaking of holiday feuds…
One of my friends made a flippant comment about the Elf on the Shelf thing last year before Christmas on Facebook. That went over smashingly, let me tell you. The comments became so irate that I commented just to stay in the loop and receive updates.
It basically went down like this…
I still keep logging on to check if anyone else joined the conversation.
So listen, if you have something to say this Christmas season other than “I had a pastrami sandwich on sourdough at the corner of 23rd and Main for lunch today,” or, “Look! Snow!” Facebook ain’t the place for it unless you want to start a total internet throw down. I don’t know; even the snow post might be sketchy. Use your judgment and let me know how it goes.
Finally, this is so fun. My cousin works with the lady who won the giant lottery! They were actually supposed to go to an ornament swap last night. I bet that lotto lady was like, “Whateva suckas! I just bought my own Christmas tree farm!” Now if that lady wants to call me and ask what I want for Christmas, I’m all ears.
Okay folk(s) (do you say folk if it’s just one person?), you all have a fab night. And let me know of any Facebook wars I need to comment on.