Last night in CrossFit, this happened:
We were doing this weightlifting move the coaches call “snatch” and I call “Am I in a Prison Camp?”
During the warm-up, the coach told us to pop the weight over our heads to practice. So everyone popped their weight-clad barbells above their heads…
My barbell was like, “No, I’m actually cool here at your sternum. Not going any higher, thank you,” and I was like, “Go UP you idiot!”
But since my barbell wouldn’t listen, while the rest of the class lifted hundreds of pounds and got to watch their biceps grow into tree trunks, I grabbed a trainer bar. A trainer bar is like a fake bar that the coaches use to teach us proper form. It looks like a normal bar, but has the weight of, say, three and a half pigeons as opposed to the 35 lb normal-lady bars. If you wanted, you could screw a patch of straw into one end of a trainer bar and have yourself a sturdy, lightweight broom.
So guess what happened when I tried to lift the trainer bar in the “Am I in a Prison Camp?” lift?
It went up!
And I still have bad form.
And I still came in last.
Happy Wednesday, folks.