Stuff I Talk About

by Christina Ledbetter

Trivial Matters

Time: 6:13 AM, Thanksgiving Day

Place: Benson and Christina’s bathroom

Setting: Benson is in the bathtub whistling. Christina is at the bathroom counter simultaneously applying makeup, brushing her teeth, packing, and making a mental note of things she needs to remind the dog-sitter. They need to leave for the airport in 32 minutes. In the past, this has always been Benson’s ideal time to question Christina’s political stance on the libertarian party, pitch Christina his new wine-making apparatus idea that he’d like to install in the garage, and/or ask for advice on what his 5-10 year career goals should be for a meeting with his boss seven months from now.

Christina: Hey hon, I’m in my mode where I can only think of getting out the door, so I’m not going to be able to talk about anything really big until we leave, okay?

Benson: Whatever! You don’t know what you’re talking about. (Switches his whistling tune to his “You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About” song. This is a song he made up himself that he likes to sing after Christina makes a really good point about something. The only lyrics to the song are, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”)

Christina: I just know you like to talk about deep stuff whenever we’re in a hurry.

45 seconds pass.

Benson (washing his armpits, suddenly stops whistling): I have a fun trivia question for you!

Christina: Um, right now I can’t really think about trivia. Maybe you can ask me and I’ll think about it later?

Benson: Okay, out of the lower 48 states, which two states –

Christina: Stop. No. Please ask me this later. I can’t think about geography right now.

Benson (completely serious): Well you told me not to ask you anything heavy, so I thought geography trivia would be a good topic. And you said not to talk about heavy stuff, and trivia by definition is trivial.

Christina: I cannot talk to you at all until we leave.

Benson (drying his ears with a towel): Shoulda said so.

Then the Ledbetters went to California and had a super fun Thanksgiving.


End Scene



Categories: Matrimony

3 replies

  1. This is why I love you guys! And I can verify that you are quit enjoyable travel companions! It’s just the getting there part 🙂

  2. Our deep conversation time is that 15-30 seconds right before I fall asleep and Heather, asks me the “meaning of life” type questions. And then wonders why I dont have an answer.

  3. you just won the internet thanks for making me laugh (again)

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